Wednesday, January 25, 2012

finding home...through miracles.

we just moved into our new home.  and it is a miracle.  let me tell you about it...
ray shows off the front of our little house!
first of all, some background. ray has a part-time job in the US, enabling us to live here and have me volunteer 100% of my time.  besides that, people in our lives reached out at an incredible rate and gave us gifts to enable us to buy our plane tickets and set up a basic life here.  DAILY we were humbled and awed by the kindness and mind-blowing generosity of others!

there is good and bad news i will now share with you.  good: we are still in awe at the kindness of people.  bad: in the last 6 months ray has not been paid (his last paycheck came in july; it’s now january).  so while we were able to start life here and not be hindered by bills in the US, we have been scraping the bottom of the barrel at this point.   

there are two things we believe strongly (and i do not say this lightly): 1. God WANTS us here and will not drop us.  2. He has ALWAYS provided.  if i think about the whole situation too much, it is indeed scary.  we sold off most of our lives and here we are, not knowing where the money is going to come from.  but God has worked time and time again.  technically, moving our entire lives to thailand in two months shouldn’t have been possible, but here we are!

and let me tell you: people’s generosity on this side of the world has amazed us just as much.  remember, i teach at a school for volunteer workers and missionaries.  these people are not rich.  but i have gone to my mailbox at school to find an envelope stuffed with the sacrificial offering from a coworker.  i was given a basket of christmas decorations to borrow for the season since we don’t have any.  someone brought us a meal when i was sick…in brand new dishes so we would have something in which to bake in our own place!

and 3 wednesdays ago...  i went into my room after school.  the lights were turned off, which was weird since it was supposed to be used for clubs. all of a sudden, 8 students of mine jumped out of hiding, screaming, ‘SURPRISE!!!’  they even had a few balloons!  i laughed and thought, what fun!  then one stepped forward and said, ‘i have a speech.’ 

she told how the girls got together last friday, made cookies and sold them at the soccer tournament the past weekend.  then they pressed a wrinkled envelope into my hands.  ‘this is the little amount of money we raised.  it’s for you.’  of course, i cried.  i can’t believe these kids.  

after the family we were sub-letting from came back to thailand, we not only had to move, but we also needed transportation.  there is no reliable public out near the school or our new house, so we had to buy a car.  cars are much more expensive than we were originally told.  a 20 year old mazda cost us dearly.  but pay attention: we had car taxes that we didn't know were coming.  the money the girls raised covered them exactly!
the 'new' car!
we continued to feel SO STRONGLY that THIS is where God wants us, we decided to live our lives as if we were staying.  we signed a one-year lease--with no income!  and not much to put into the house.  i told my kids every day: a miracle is coming.  just wait. 

the weekend before the move my dear principal told me to come by the house; she had dishes to give us as she was moving in a few months.  we showed up at her house to find the entire kitchen emptied onto her dining room table.  'take anything you want,' maxene told us.  there were way more than plates (beautiful ones, by the way!); there were serving dishes galore, a blender, tablecloths, christmas decorations, a kitchen trashcan, cooking utensils, candles, and so much more.  again, completely overwhelmed, i cried.  let me tell you, the hardest 'stuff' to say goodbye to was kitchen stuff.  and we now have more than we had!  
the kitchen with our over-abundance!
after that trip, the only things we really needed to live everyday life were silverware and pots.  as we were leaving school on tuesday to move, a colleague of mine came up with a bag and said, 'i don't know if you could use these, but i have some extra silverware and 3 pots.' 

again, we believe we’re supposed to be here.  and we believe we’re here in a unique position to touch kids’ lives and give hope.  ...we’ve learned that takes more help from others than we would like.  but who are we to be given to so sacrificially?! 

miracles happen daily.  and here's the last one (though i know it's not truly the last...)  last tuesday morning, the day of the move, ray got an email: the cheque had come through.  he got paid for all his hard work.  of ALL the days from july to january, the money came through on our moving day!  

we don’t know where our future income is coming from, but we know it’s coming.  we are already living in gratefulness for that day.  and we will continue to give of what we have—whether it be plenty or lacking—to those in our lives.  

i still may be a girl who questions where to call home.  but i no longer question this period of my life.  nor do i question the God who sustains us.  for now, we are meant to be exactly here!  
the back of the house--notice the beautiful upper 'coffee veranda!'
 

Friday, January 13, 2012

home....?


anytime i go back to bangladesh, i am accosted yet again with questions of home.  what makes a place home?  does the answer lie in cliches?  is home where the heart is?  but my heart is many places...and certainly not all of them are home to me.  is home where family is?  a week before going i found out my parents were leaving in 6 months.  and without them there, without a physical house, is it still home enough?

let me tell you what i did figure out, though.  it was beautiful to go back to familiar.  so often while living in america, i was struck with the desire to have my life be more than interesting stories and fascinating cultural facts!  i wanted my longing for it to be expressed more deeply than cravings for a certain sweet in a facebook update!  i wanted to take the world’s face in my hands and make it understand this constant straddling of 2 lives is exhausting.  but no matter what has formed me as an adult, my country of bangladesh has been a part of me since the day i turned 3.  it's what i've known longest and most thoroughly. 


best of all: ray came home with me.  he heard the sounds and smelled the smells and ate the food and experienced the hospitality...and he loved it all.  he saw the best things the country had to offer and enjoyed. 


at this point in my life, i realize that ray is my anchor no matter where i am in the world.  i am like a turtle carrying my home around with me; no matter where we go, we go together.  how vital for him to see where i grew up (as it was for me to visit his hometown in southern france 2 years ago).  how equally vital for him to stand by me as we settle into our new home here.

in fact, when we arrived back in thailand, i said 'what a quiet, beautiful city this is!  i feel a bit like i'm coming home.'  so the journey starts again.  we're setting down more roots, making our way in a new place, carving out a space...

home really is a sensitive issue for me.  for years i felt like it was a dirty word.  there was so much baggage attached to it; feelings of being a traitor to one side or another, and, of course, never fully belonging anywhere.  after being married and living in one country for four years, it has been a hard move.  i wanted it to happen, i'm glad we're here, but it's brought up a lot of issues.  God has been sweeter to me than i remember and my husband has been more amazing than i've experienced.  i don't have the answers, but i have a lot more peace.  


Monday, January 2, 2012

christmas week

the last four days of school, i declared: christmas week.  every day i dressed up to celebrate another aspect of the holiday.  poor ray lived a week of embarrassment; the kids loved it! :)  i wanted to post these pictures at the end of 'christmas week' but there just wasn't time.  after 16 hours at school on the last day, we packed.  the day after, we left to go to my childhood home of bangladesh.  it was beautiful, but incredibly intense!  all that to say, celebrate with me now....

the first day i was in a full-on tux, complete with a christmas garland bolero.  sadly, i didn't get a good picture, but ray did take this one.  i was getting measured for an event later in the week....


day 2: the christmas elf made an appearance!  i went out to dinner in this garb, spreading cheer to all around!


 i declared day 3 'glamourous christmas.'  incidently, this is also my wedding dress!


the entire quarter in which we studied ancient egypt culminated in our egyptian christmas party.  of course, i dressed appropriately!  thanks to my friend katie and her project runway skills, i had the perfect dress.  thanks to my husband, i had the crown and collar...AND the perfect sidekick!